3 Keys To Boosting Your Inner Confidence

I've been coaching for a few years now, and the biggest thing I've learnt - both for me and for my clients - is that inner confidence is the key to it all.

There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they're all redundant if the foundation isn't there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down you are. The trick is that it takes confidence to find that and to bring out who you are – here are the three keys to real inner confidence.

1. Get To Know Your Values

Personal values are a big passion of mine and I often get carried away with myself when I talk about them. I make no apology for that though – they’re one of the most important things you can know about yourself and are vital in getting genuine inner confidence. Your values are ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the very core of who you are; and they’re the building blocks, the foundations and cornerstones for you. A value is something in yourself, in others or in the world that’s most important to you, and could include things like respect, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement or freedom.

Why is it that some people and situations leave you feeling angry, frustrated, demotivated or deflated? It’s because one or more of your values is being denied, suppressed or repressed – and we experience that as a negative experience because it’s denying a fundamental piece of who you are. You know those times when you’ve felt really alive, amazing or buzzing? Those are the times when one or more of your values are being honored, and you can get more of that by living according to them.

Your values are all yours, and no matter what happens, no one can ever take them away. You can have absolute confidence in them because they’re there all the time just waiting for you to notice them and use them. When you get to know your values, you can start to make choices and align your life around them. It’s so simple and it feels amazing because all that really means is that you’re allowing who you are to live in the real world.

2. Trust Yourself

People spend too much time looking for signs that they’re doing the right thing or on the right path. Sometimes we get that by hearing that we’re doing well at work, sometimes it could be encouragement from a friend or loved one, and sometimes we get that feedback by seeing our material wealth or possessions growing.

But rather than looking on the outside for those signs, how about looking on the inside at what you’re telling yourself? How about trusting yourself to do the best thing and make great choices? How about trusting your own insights and using your own intuition? I’ve seen those ideas scare the bejeezus out of people and you know why? Because it makes you accountable and responsible for what you get. If you trust yourself implicitly and you make the wrong choice, you’ve got nobody else to blame.

But the fact is that we all make mistakes and we’ll all continue to make mistakes. So how would it be if you could trust yourself to get through anything and trust yourself to continue making choices that serve you well – even if sometimes you screw up? That’s the kind of trust I’m talking about, and that’s genuine inner confidence.

Start by listening to yourself and noticing what your intuition is telling you. Be aware of that little voice inside you or those gut reactions you get and pay attention to what they’re telling you. Trust yourself to make decisions, trust yourself to adapt and trust that you’re good enough to have, do or be whatever you want. True confidence will follow.

3. Exercise the Muscle

Confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle you need to exercise it so that it doesn’t shrink and waste away. The problem is that unlike your biceps or glutes, which tend to stay in the same place, your confidence muscle can be harder to find. How do you develop your biceps or firm up your glutes? By doing exercises that are designed to work that muscle over a period of time until you see the results you were looking for.

It’s just the same with confidence. Let’s say that you’re the kind of person that doesn’t take many risks, the kind of person who goes through each day doing what needs to be done and doing it well, but not really stretching yourself. You might talk yourself out of doing something because it’s too scary or because you think to yourself ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘that’s not who I am’ or ‘I don’t really want it anyway.’ That kind of person lives within what they know and what keeps them safe and comfortable. The fewer risks they take, the less confident they need to be and so the less confident they become.

To work your confidence muscle you need to be prepared to take risks – big or small. You need to be willing to stretch yourself in an unfamiliar direction, to try something new or try something in a slightly different way. You need to open yourself up to the possibilities around you and push yourself to increase what you know, what you do and who you are. The more open you are to risk, opportunity and possibility the more confident you need to be, and so the more confidence you’ll develop. That’s your confidence muscle – the question is, what are you going to do to exercise it?"

1st Step to Manifesting Life

Do you know at least one person that seems to make the most of out every situation? Someone who has great success at the act of manifestation (the act or product of bringing about change through the direction of consciousness)?

You may even have felt a little jealous of the person because it appears they have everything, seemingly getting these things with minimal effort as though they were born ‘lucky’.  Well, it is probably time you understand that the power of manifestation lies within each of us and it is up to you to learn more about it. 

Attracting abundance is knowledge. Just like any other skill people have, manifesting is no different.  Skills like playing a musical instrument or making gourmet meals require time and commitment to learn and practice.  So does the skill of manifesting.   How good you get, depends on how well you learn the skill and how well you apply it.

Even though some of us are better at certain skills, that doesn't mean the rest of us, with practice, can't improve or even surpass the talent expressed by another. Some seem to have learned it so well that they often times don't even realize how they do it. Manifesting abundance now comes to them so readily it appears ‘natural’ just as a well trained pianist seems to play the piano without thought or effort. They learn to believe whole-heartedly that they simply deserve something; it is now part of their reality. Those are the ones that seem to be born ‘lucky’.  Luck is not how they got there!

So, how can you start on your journey towards manifesting great things for yourself and those you love?  Here is the first step – a basic understanding of the ‘Law of Attraction’.

Gaining a good understanding of how the "law of attraction" works is the first step in bringing abundance into your life.  You can create our own reality. You can attract riches, opportunities and happiness, etc., in our life when you learn to focus or attract yourself on them.  In order to do this, you must learn to believe and think in a positive way towards those things you seek.  You probably also know at least one person (hopefully not you!), who dwells on the negative and truly will focus on having less. They are attracted to ‘less’ not ‘having more’.  When you focus on "I hate my current employment" then you will never notice the aspects of your employment that might be satisfying. You must understand that just wanting something isn't going to bring that to you if you continue to focus on the ‘not having’ of that something. You may have personally experienced that "not having" attitude and learned that it blocked your true desires.

You must learn to focus on a particular item or scenario rather than on vague goals like ‘more cash’ or ‘winning money’.  Focusing on winning the lottery, for example, is a fruitless event. Although, through luck, some win lotteries, focusing on winning the lottery is kind of like focusing on "not having." Oddly enough, many who focus on winning naturally dream of what they could do to help others, even though many of those dreams could actually already be done with their current incomes on a smaller scale, but they don't. This is probably because they focus on what they perceive as their ‘not having’ or ‘having so little’.  With this attitude they end up believing that those dreams are only possible by winning the lottery. They are literally afraid to act on their dreams for fear that they do not currently ‘have enough’ to offer.

For example, I know several decently paid professionals that repeatedly tell me that they too would really love to sponsor a foster child in another country and they would if they won the lottery.  They are afraid that they cannot currently afford $1 a day as that might leave them short of cash in case of an emergency like an unexpected auto repair.  Their focus is on "not enough" rather than being focused on sponsoring a needy child. When they are focused on "not enough" it won't ever matter how much money they have, it will never be enough.

Just talking about sponsoring a child brought their fears out into the open. It would be great if they could trust that helping a needy third world child would not put them at financial risk.

So what I would tell these professionals, who would like to sponsor a child but feel they just cannot,  is that they focus on visualizing a starving child being fed by their contribution and perhaps a wonderful letter from that child, complete with a photo to be proudly placed along side other family pictures.   This would be a positive image/thought to get that picture to become a reality. Perhaps talk it over with the rest of the family to see what they could do without to create that $1 a day.  This is the first step in learning how to manifest their lives.  This same first step will work for all aspects of life from healthy, happy relationships to personal wealth.

Is it your turn to make the most of out every situation?  Is it your turn for others to see you as ‘lucky’?  Does your lack of ability to manifest life leave your soul wounded or lacking?  Would you like to learn all the steps to manifest life?  You deserve it and it is time to take action.

7 Blocks To Creative Thinking And How To Solve Them

Each of us has the power to be creative. It's part of our natural make-up as human beings. The trouble is that, too often, we block our natural creativity and so make errors in thinking and give ourselves more problems than we should. Here are 7 ways to open up your natural creativity and keep the channels unblocked.

1. Don't Make Assumptions. When we assume, we often make an "ass" out of "u" and "me". Assumptions are examples of lazy thinking. We simply don't wait to get all the information we need to come to the right conclusions. There is the story of the customer at the bank who after cashing a cheque and turning to leave, returns and says: "Excuse me, I think you made a mistake." The cashier responds, "I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do. You should have counted it. Once you walk away we are no longer responsible." Whereupon the customer replies: "Well, okay. Thanks for the extra $20."
Tip: When you feel yourself wanting to draw conclusions, just wait until you have all the information.

2. See Things From Other Points Of View. A truly open mind is willing to accept that, not only do other people have other just as valid points of view from theirs, but that these other points of view may be more valid. A story is told that the modernist painter Pablo Picasso was once traveling on a train across Spain when he got into conversation with a rich businessman who was dismissive of modern art. As evidence that modern art didn't properly represent reality, he took out a photo of his wife from his wallet and said: "This is how my wife should look, not in some silly stylized representation." Picasso took the photo, studied it for a few moments and asked: "This is your wife?" The businessman proudly nodded. "She's very small," observed Picasso wryly.
Tip: Don't have a monopoly on how things are. Things aren't always what they seem. Be ready to consider other points of view.

3. Avoid Yo-Yo Thinking. Some people tend to have a tendency to swing from a highly positive mood one minute to a highly negative one the next, all because of what they see in front of them. It's like a yo-yo: up one minute, down the next. It's far more healthy to stay neutral and not let emotions get the better of you.
Tip: Remember that things are rarely as good - or as bad - as you think they are.

4. Get Rid Of Lazy Thinking Habits. Habit can be a major stumbling block to clear thinking and another example of laziness. Try this experiment. Write down the Scottish surnames Macdonald, Macpherson, and Macdougall and ask someone to pronounce them. Now follow these with the word Machinery and see what happens. Most people are likely to mis-pronounce it. This is because we tend to think in habitual ways and don't like what doesn't fit.
Tip: Don't think that, just because things happened in a certain way once before, that they will happen like that again.

5. Don't Think Like An Old Person, Think Like A Child. Research shows that the number of synapses, or connections, in the brain is greater in a child of two than in an average adult. The reason for this is that, while a child of two has no limiting world view, as adults we do. It's like a sculptor who starts off with a large block of clay, more than he needs, and then gradually removes the clay as he moulds his sculpture. If we use our brain like a child, accepting everything without judgment, we can actually halt and reverse the brain ageing process.
Tip: Don't worry about the myth of age. With the right stimulus and a passion for learning, you can actually improve your brain's powers.

6. See The Detail As Well As The Big Picture. You may know the poem by John Godfrey Saxe called "The Blind Men and the Elephant". This tells how six blind men of Indostan go to see an elephant and each try to work out what it is from touching it. One blind man touches the tusk, another the trunk, another the tail, and so on. Of course, not being able to see the whole elephant, they come to wildly different conclusions.
Tip: Try to keep the big picture in front of you while looking at details. It will help to put everything in its proper place and context.

7. Think For Yourself. Taking time out to think is still frowned on in many organizations that prize activity over creativity. People who work in creativity-constrained organizations are likely to think the way they are supposed to think, or as others think, or as has always been the way to think. It's like the blinkered thinking that Hans Christian Anderson describes in his story of "The Emperor's New Clothes". Everyone in the land refuses to see that the emperor is naked and has been duped into believing he is wearing a splendid costume for his coronation. Only a young boy who has been ill and not party to the cultural brainwashing can see the truth and cries out: "Look, everyone, the Emperor is wearing no clothes!"
Tip: Don't let others tell you how to think. When others ask your opinion, tell it to them straight.

Once you make these 7 techniques part of your habitual thinking patterns, you will amaze yourself with how easy it is to come up with fresh, innovative and creative solutions to all of life's problems.

“7 Surprisingly Quick And Easy Ways To Feel Happier”

All of us have days when we're out of sorts. You just wish you were in a better mood.  You've had days like that, haven't you? Perhaps you tried to get yourself into a better state of mind but struggled to achieve it.

Sometimes we get stuck in our own emotional dumps and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood. Many people have found them useful. Some of them may surprise you!

1. Go for a walk.

Most people know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. When you are feeling down it is even more beneficial. If you can, go into a natural environment with plants and birds. Can you think of such a setting not? What do you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh  smell of country air, the sounds of birds, or the sunlight shining through the trees? Make it real by taking a short stroll.

2. Listen to quality music.

Music can shift a listener's state within moments. It's effect can be nearly magical. Dig out that CD you haven't listened to in ages or tune in your radio to something you've never listened to before.


3. Open yourself to discovering something new.

Read something (printed, not on line) different than what you would normally watch. There are a ton of different types of magazines can you get these days. Visit your local library or browse through a magazine rack.  Pick up or buy a magazine you wouldn't normally buy. You may discover something wonderful.

4. Find something to laugh at.

Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Find a humorous book, or watch a comedy. Even better, try to learn a few new jokes and tell them to others. 

5. Simple breathing meditation.

Breathing meditation is a great exercise that you can do anywhere.  Simply allow yourself to sit comfortably with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That's all there is to it. Do this for 10-15 minutes. Notice how pleasantly surprised you can be at how you feel afterward.

6. Doodling for the fun of it.

Most people can remember when they were young and used to doodle for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures. Drawing is not just for kids or artists.  Whoever you are get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw for the fun of it. Notice how your state of mind shifts.

7. Think of others less fortunate.

The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than most people on this planet. At times this may be hard to believe, but if you can read and have access to the internet, just those two things alone means you are better off than most people in the world.  There are many human beings that barely have access to the basics of survival. There are people in lots of pain. Allow your compassion for them to grow.

These are all pretty simple. There's nothing profound or life changing, but when all you need is a quick pick me up these may be just the thing you need. Putting simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques into action will help you achieve change more quick and easily--surprisingly so at time-- than you imagine.

3 Actions You Can Take Right Now to Bring Your Dream to Light

You hear it all the time; “follow your dream”, “discover your dream”, “dreams do come true”. The way people talk about LIVING YOUR DREAM, it’s as if everyone must have one!

I think they do, which means I think YOU do! So, if in fact the rather bold statement I just made is true, how do you go about bringing your dream to light? These tips will help.

1. ALLOW yourself to dream.

We STOP dreaming because at some point in our life we were told the dream we had was unrealistic. And after hearing it enough times from others we started believing it too. A dream that once felt so good to think about and seemed so possible to achieve, suddenly left us feeling silly for ever having it. So we did the only thing we could do, we packed our dream(s) safely away, not to be shared again.

Just because your dream is packed away for safe keeping, doesn’t mean it no longer exists. In fact, it might be the thing that keeps trying to get your attention! If you’ve ever had a notion there was “more” to life, listen up – your dream is talking!

How can you gently coax your dream back into the light?

You can ask yourself: “If money was no object, and failure was not a concern, what would I do with my life?”

As we get older we get more practical. But when you’re trying to unleash a dream there’s no room for practicality. Asking the question above will give you free rein to dream away! There will be plenty of opportunities for practical matters later on. For now, give yourself permission to once again dream and when you do, dream BIG!

2. Don’t judge your dream.

There isn’t a scale on which dreams are measured. In other words, one dream is no better or worse than another dream. Your DREAM is YOUR dream!

If, since the time you were eight years old, you’ve wanted to study the life and habitat of iguanas, perhaps your dream is exactly what you need to do to feel your best and to live a life you find meaningful.

The consequence of not living your dream? What about the poor iguanas!

There’s a reason you have the dream you have. In the big cosmic picture of life, your dream serves a purpose to all life on this earth. If you don’t live your dream, the rest of us are missing out.

The second tip for bringing your dream to light: Don’t JUDGE your dream. Rather, embrace it – it’s yours for a reason.

3. Practice patience.

Dreams take time to unfold, especially when you haven’t allowed yourself to dream for awhile.

Some people know their dream from an early age. For the rest of us, we need to remain open and curious as to what our dream is. Listen to your gut, heart and soul and trust they have the answers you seek.

It may take some time for your dream to be revealed. Therefore, the last tip is to HAVE PATIENCE. It may take time to bring your dream to light, but it’ll be worth the wait.

Allow yourself to dream, don’t’ judge the dream you have and practice patience: three actions you can take today to bring your dream to light.

“There is a giant asleep within every man. When that giant awakes, miracles happen.” Frederick Faust